Daily Theosophy

It became clear that she was especially skilful and fierce against the lady who led the group. She was a hopeless case, even from the lady’s point of view, who had never met such a child in her whole career.

(37)

(The Monk)

The ‘case Deedee’ became known in the whole region. There was a young monk around there who heard about her also. He was every idealistic young man, and was convinced that his life should be dedicated to the well-being of all living beings, and that good would ultimately always win from evil. He was living nearly as a recluse in a small hut near a small monastery. He was at the age that a woman would have been most interesting for him, but he had taken a vow of celibacy for his whole life, and would never look at a women with the slightest feeling of desire. He thought he could save her. He talked with the lady, and she told him everything about her experience, and what she thought would be the best. The lady also thought that this man with such a strong character could at least have some good influence on Diana, and that, if he could carefully stimulate her good properties and teach her some useful skills, she might be able to function rather ‘normally’ by the time she had reached adulthood. The monk thought that also. The monk and the girl were introduced to each other, and it was decided by both the monk and Deedee that she would stay with the monk – in a separate quarter of course – and that he would teach her and be her friend. She seemed to like him, but in reality her usual mind-stream started doing its work immediately. She was not intelligent as far as it came to school matters and intellectual things, but her emotional intelligence worked perfectly. Immediately when she saw the monk, she looked through him, and saw his innocent stupidity. She was very kind to him, did everything he asked, and really started to learn the lessons he gave her. She used all her charm, because her hidden plan was of course to destroy his vow of celibacy and thus ruin his life as a monk of his order. The elderly monks at the monastery were quite aware of the strong character of the young monk, but also that he was, after all, a young man of just eighteen. So they were worried and kept an eye from a distance – what was immediately noticed by Diana. So Diana managed to convince him and the elders that they should live in huts at the outside edge of the monastery’s grounds. There they could not be watched by anyone. The monk was full of self-confidence, and innocent belief in the inherent good heart of Diana, and the others monks trusted him also. She saw quickly that her scheme didn’t work as she had thought. But she didn’t give up.

He taught her some sacred texts, and the recitation of holy mantra’s in a language she could not understand, but which were actually all dedicated to the well-being of all living things, and promises to help all living beings through all times ever, or they were paying respect to the enlightened founder of this religion. If she had known what she was saying she would have ran away in horror. She just repeated the mantras as he taught her. From her point of view this was just a part of her plan, which she had to bear. The monk now trusted her completely, and began to teach her his specialized knowledge of herbs and medicine. Though young, the monk was already quite a good doctor, and everyday people from the region came to the monastery to consult him. Diana assisted him. She also learned a lot about herbs and making potions etc. – what would proof to be of great help in her later life. All this she did, however, not so much ‘for the well-being of all creatures’ as out of her secret attraction to his young body. But he was far to innocent to notice that or even have that thought. So she would listen, apparently patiently, when he was teaching her herbs and medicine. Because he now had full confidence in her good intentions (and thought that what the lady had told him must have been very exaggerated, he also taught her more forceful and rare medicine, among which there were a few who were very poisonous even in small quantities. Such medicine had to be handled with utmost care, and could only be given to particular patients in otherwise hopeless cases. Then he also taught her herbs which could exert psychological influences, like love potions, medicine against depressions, against evil spirits, potions which made parties more cheerful, and also herbal preparations which would make people more thoughtful, or cause visions, etc. He would never use any of such psychological medicines himself, nor had he ever tried one, nor would he advice them to anyone, but he felt that she was most interested when he told her about these. He also took her out into the field to learn to recognize the herbs on basis of their flowers, fruits and leaves, so that she could recognize them in any season. Moreover the monastery had quite a large garden with medical herbs.

In the mean time her plan became more concrete before her eyes. She wanted him – if only for one night. But she never showed any intention in that direction, because she new that would not work.

So when she had been almost three years with the monk, who had, apart from teaching herbs had tried to teach her ethics and some philosophy – in which subjects she didn’t show much interest or understanding though – and rather fancied the opposite of what he taught within her mind. He noticed that, and he thought that was her ‘inner struggle’ which everyone who studies these things has to go through. Then the right moment for her plan had arrived. It was early spring, the weather was warmer than usual, birds were singing, and flowers spread a romantic fragrance over the fields while the sun was already approaching the horizon. Her knowledge of herbs was now great enough to prepare some most irresistible and strong love potion. As usual she made tea with milk and some sweet spices for both of them, and they drank it as always. The added herbal preparation would begin to work after a little over half an hour, reach a climax after two hours, and than stay on for another four or five hours. She had put it in her own tea also. The monk didn’t have the slightest suspicion. Of course, because of his age, he sometimes had to fight quite a fight against his feelings, secretly of course, especially on beautiful evenings like this, but he always won the battle with himself. Right after the tea, they started to recite some holy texts, as usual. Though she still didn’t know the meaning, she was reciting with him a text just by repeating the words. The text was a mantra was meant as general protection against evil influences and to invoke good intentions within people’s hearts for the good of all living beings. If she would have known that, she would not have mumbled a word of it! It were only the sounds of the mantra who touched her subconscious being. Nothing good ever goes lost – even if it stays hidden for ages.

But general mantras are no match for chemicals drunk into the body. After half an hour the monks started to get feelings which at first he didn’t recognize, and he paid no attention. Then, then minutes later, he suddenly felt that he was in love with her – something he had never felt before, and if he had ever felt it slightly, he would have suppressed it immediately. It was as if his world view had suddenly become less important compared to this immense feeling of human love. He looked at her, and she came a little closer. He liked that. But, being a monk, he had never even pointed in the direction of a woman, and as a result of that he kept sitting motionless. She still kept her distance, knowing that the potion was only just beginning to work. They just continued to recite the text, over and over again, as is the habit with such texts. With every round she came a little closer, and though he faked that he was fully concentrated on his text, his thought whirled around like crazy, and were only with the well-being of her, forgetting all the rest of all living beings. She herself, also being under the influence of the herbs, needed her utmost strength not to just jump on him – but she knew that if she did that now, all would be lost. So she stroke lovingly over his bare-shaved skull. He didn’t resist – he couldn’t resist. She did it again, touching his back also. Then suddenly he shivered. A thought ran through his mind. Something dawned on him. Suddenly he realized what was the case, and why he had never felt himself like this before, drowsy and sexy. He woke up with a shock as out of a bad dream. He jumped up, and pushed her away. He ran away in the direction of a big rock, jumped on it, and set in meditative pose. His love feelings were burning. But his vow was shouting in him. Had he failed? No, almost he had. Immediately he closed his eyes and began to recite a mantra against sexual feelings. Slowly he got himself under control. But knowing the science of the herbs, he also knew that his fight had to continue for a few more hours. He shouted, and as a result the attention of an elderly monk was attracted, and in the near dark he came to see where the shout came from. In no time it became clear what had happened, and within half a minute all the monks had arrived. Deedee could do nothing but hare away into the dark – and she never returned. She loved and hated him the whole night. She kept running and running through the dark, stumbling over stones and roots at times, hurting her face, and all the time crying and shouting. It was the worst night in her life. She had failed in her plan, and she was not used to failing in plans. She was furious. She went back to her mother, for the first time in years, and told her that the monk had tried to seduce her, and that it should immediately be told to the authorities in the region. No doubt they would believe the story, knowing that the monk was so young, and that the evening had been exceptionally romantic. The monk in the mean time, struggled through the most difficult night in his life, and by the morning fell asleep. The tragedy for him was, that, seen from the rules of the monastery, and from the eyes of the elderly monks, he had become defiled, even though he had no guilt, and had conquered his body like a hero. The next morning he was dismissed from the monastery, and from now on he had to take care of himself, and either live as a total recluse or choose for a worldly life, finding a spouse and founding a family. He choose the first. The authorities came to the monastery, but he had already left – nobody knew where he had gone. The monks defended him, but that the authorities wouldn’t belief, even though monks in those days never lied.

(38)

(Why?)

Deedee managed to deceive another man, who married her.