Daily Theosophy

Adi himself has sown the seed for that misery, because it had been Peter’s free mind who had chosen for the covenant for that life – his best and a most crucial choice in many of Peter’s lifetimes – and this was because Adi had sown the seed of longing for progress in each and every being. The curiosity of his heart had caused that.

We’ll now see a few more events in Adi’s dream, which are of crucial importance for the future. It seems as if Adi has to understand every terror that is possible in the universe, and every joy too.

(36)

(dura diana)

Dura Diana

She was thirteen, and not very pretty. She was rather small, a bit fat, and had a white, round head with big pinkish lips and hairs hanging down like falling streams of rain. She lived with her parents again, and her sister who was 16. She was the problem of the family. She was somewhat mentally retarded, not very mentally retarded – she could, with some trouble read and write simple things. Many mentally retarded people are very nice and lovable. But not Diana.

The family lived in a country with a rather harsh climate. In the winter it could be freezing 20 centigrades  or more, and thick snows, often dirty because of so many careless people, covered the earth for several months a year. The summers were hot though. That is why they had a house with a ground floor only, a tilted roof, and extremely thick walls, so that inside you would be protected from either the cold or the heat. But springs and autumns were beautiful, with singing birds, and every tree, shrub and herb in bloom, and colorful autumn leaves respectively. Then there were streams of clear water running down from the mountains, and everybody was happy – except Dura Diana. She seemed to be happier when the whole world was frozen.

She derived her name, Diana, from an long dead aunt more than a century ago, who came from a foreign country, and had that name. At the moment she was born and her parents had to fill in the form at the town hall for the official registration of a new-born child, her mother had, by impulse, added ‘Dura’ before ‘Diana’, so now she was known and Dura Diana. But soon she was nicknamed Deedee by everyone, and that is how most people called her the rest of her life. Even as a child she was very strange, you might say unpleasantly naughty. When family and friends came for a party or a birthday celebration, she would hardly pay attention to anyone, however kind aunts and uncles tried to be to her. Instead she had fun in creating some mischief. For example, one time, when the people are busy chatting happily in the living room, she went to place in the hall where they had left their snowy shoes, and put them all in a big bucket of water, so that, when it was time to go home (and many were drunk) they found their shoes soaked in icy water. At another time – she was only four – she had, just at the moment when her mother was receiving some wealthy and grand people for discussing a business contract, gone to the toilet, taken off all het cloths, and put them through that toilet – opening the door while shouting and crying, just when the lord major of their town passed by the door – causing considerable embarrassment for her mother. She was particularly good in toppling glasses of wine, or putting salt in sweet drinks, and many other things. Nobody understood why she was like that, because the parents and the sister were quite nice and good people, who were working hard and cared much for each other. Nobody in the family had ever been like that, and also her education could in no way explain her behavior.

There came a time, when Deedee was about seven, that the situation became untenable. In the culture were she lived they had schools, and if the parents could afford it they would put their children to school, to learn reading and writing, calligraphy, poetry, art, calculation, sciences and other branches of high culture. She had been to school for some time, but learned nothing, and pestered all the other children. She only had fun when other children were crying. Obviously nobody liked her. She was really the strangest child they had ever seen in that town. The teachers really didn’t know what to do with her – she just always did the opposite of what they wanted her to do.

After a year the director of the school came to the parent’s home to have a serious talk. The parents of course understood the problem, and it was decided that Deedee would be put under the care of a lady who was especially good in handling ‘children with educational problems.’ That was in another village, so she had to stay there overnight also. It didn’t last long until they had to give her a separate room and lock it at night, because she would constantly be putting cups of water or sticky things in the beds of other children.

But what was remarkable was that Deedee kind of liked the lady who was taking care. It was not a thirteen-in-a-dozen type of lady. She had a strong and decided character, and she was completely unselfish and her heart was overflowing with love alike for everyone of the boys and girls under her custody. So also towards Deedee – who she preferred to call Diana – which sounds better. And Deedee felt a kind of liking or attraction for her – something she had never felt for anyone so far in her life. She felt some kind of actual respect for the lady. And when the former teachers and her parents heard about that, they had some glimmer of hope. But that glimmer of hope reached Deedee’s awareness also, and that should not have happened. Out of ‘revenge’ she turned against the lady also, hating her, and started to spend all her energy making her life as miserable as possible. It had happened at a particular moment, that the lady suddenly felt a change of energy from Deedee, turning from friendship into enmity. It was a great disappointment to her. The situation never restored. Still Deedee stayed two years at the institute. If you were harassed by Deedee, you could react in two ways: either suffer what she did to you, but showing it as little as possible and patiently waiting what would come next; or you could react fiercely, get angry, beat her up, lock her in her room, so that she would be silent and not bother you for a while. But while she was silent she was already thinking of some revenge. And the next chaff would only be worse. The lady tried all means, though in her heart she was never angry with anyone and wished that ‘punishment’ would not exist, but she ‘punished’ Diana in various ways. But nothing helped for more than a few days, and often not even that.

She had now reached the age of adolescence, and she had developed some breasts and other female features. Some of the girls and boys had reached the stage of falling in love, and some were openly behaving as boy- and girlfriends. This was a new challenge for Deedee. Despite her unpleasant intentions she possessed the art of being charming also. She just knew how to let boys have an eye on her, even though she wasn’t particularly attractive. And she played the game, not because she liked the boy, but to have the fun of seeing him suffer. She showed complete indifference to most boys. She was only interested in boys who already had a girlfriend. The she would use all her charm, in a rather subtle way at first, to draw his attention in such a way that his girlfriend would notice it. Of course the girlfriend would become jealous, and very angry. But she always managed to let the girlfriend be angry with the boy, and not with her. Then she played totally innocent, and even offered help to the girl to console her. Some of these boys fell for Deedee’s charm and nice talk, resulting in their girlfriend breaking away. As soon as she had accomplished her aim irreversibly, Deedee would drop the poor boy by scolding him, or by stealing from him or cheat him in another way. And she had her fun.

It became clear that she was especially skilful and fierce against the lady who led the group. She was a hopeless case, even from the lady’s point of view, who had never met such a child in her whole career.

(37)

(The Monk)

The ‘case Deedee’ became known in the whole region. There was a young monk around there who heard about her also. He was every idealistic young man, and was convinced that his life should be dedicated to the well-being of all living beings, and that good would ultimately always win from evil.