Daily Theosophy

and despite her failure to do so and the adverse effect, always kept some place in her heart, and hope, for Dura Diana. And here the story of these two ends for the time being. Let’s first pay attention to some other dreams.

(39)

(Shano)

Shano

Shano was eight and at school and was quite good. Not very good, but he was the best of his year. He also was kindhearted and always ready to help other children. He never quarreled with anyone, even though some of the boys around him were sometimes quite rude in their language. So he had many friends and teachers also liked him. His eyes looked happy and he felt like he would become a great man later. He had no brothers or sisters. His parents had educated him very well, because they themselves were very polite and serious and civilized people with a natural tendency of helpfulness. They had come to the country before he was born and therefore looked slightly different from most people in that part of the city, and they spoke with some accent. But of course Shano had never really noticed that, because he moved with equal ease between his parents and his schoolmates and teachers. Moreover Shano found it more important what was is the people’s hearts than what they looked like. He had a tendency to be more helpful to poorer children than to the rich. From a young age Shano had been taught by his parents to be kind and helpful and never to lie or steal (which, he noticed, other children sometimes did – but he simply ignored it).

The children were playing many sports together on the street and field destined for that purpose. Because Shano was slightly taller than most children of his age, he was good in these sports also. One day in the week, on a Wednesday afternoon, all players used to come together on a field and play a formal match together. Everyone always looked the whole week forward to the next Wednesday, and sometimes Shano was so excited that he hardly slept on Tuesday nights. One day – Shano was ten now – something happened. When he arrived at the field most of his friends were already there, and the match would begin shortly. He wanted to enter the field as always, but then one of the boys, with two of the biggest boys standing behind him, said to Shano: “You are not playing?” Shano did not really understand what the boys wanted to say. He softly answered: “Why?” They answered: “Because you are different.” “I am not different,” said Shano. “Yes you are different. Look at the color of your skin and you are talking in a strange way also. We don’t want you in our group anymore.” Now Shano understood that they were serious and meant what they said. His heart went at least twice the speed as normal – some 150 beats per minutes, whereas about 72 is the average. He felt some anger also, but he was not used to getting angry, so he kindly said: “But I want to play anyhow.” “No,” the boys said. More boys had assembled and stood behind the boys who spoke opposite Shano. Even some girls had come to look. One girl said to the boys: “Don’t be childish, let him play. He is different, but he is not crazy.” “No, said the fist boy (though there was some doubt in his voice now). Shano now was even more shocked: that girl who he had always liked and she had liked him also, now also said that he was “different.” Shano really did not understand what “different” meant. But for him there was no other way than to leave. First he wondered around in the streets and was very nervous and shocked. Then after some time he went home and told the story to his mother. He thought that his mother would be kind to him and comfort him. But in stead she was also shocked. Nervously she walked up and down the room (as she also used to do when his father did not come home from his work in time). “I have always believed.” it, she shouted, “I have known it all the time.” In stead of his mother comforting Shano, Shano comforted his mother by saying: “Mama, don’t worry, it is only today. Next week I will play.” Later, when his father had come from his work his parents talked together while he was not in the room. Then they called him, and said: “Don’t be depressive. Hide your emotions.” When he asked his parents why his friends had suddenly done that, his mother answered that the friends themselves were okay, but it meant that the parents of the children had been talking about the parents of Shano, that they were different, that they should not live in that part of the city and because they had strange habits, like eating at different times than normal people like themselves and that they would hang out there cloth outside for drying on another day than most people did, and that they had a bad accent and were haughty (because that is what these people thought about their natural politeness – that they were haughty because they were different). And such parents had concluded that it what be better to avoid contact with these foreigners. The parents never had much contact anyway, but children out of themselves do not think about “differences” like that – they had until then always respected and liked him – but some boys had been jealous because he was always better than they. And therefore some of them hated Shano. But this was not true for most of the children. However, one of the biggest and coarsest boys and some of his followers hated Shano particularly. When the story about the “difference” appeared, he was the first to pick up the story and convinced the other boys, who had sometimes heard stories like that elsewhere.

Shano had thought that next time they would have forgotten; but they had not. In fact it became worse. Sometimes he was scolded from a distance without any reason, and even his best friends now kept on a distance most of the time. Only one or two remained true to him, and defended him if necessary. Shano stayed home most of the time, looking TV (an new and most amazing instrument which had just been brought on the market, and which was great in uplifting someone’s social status), doing his homework and reading some books. For the rest he did not care very much. The teachers at school also noticed his change of attitude, and even briefly talked about it in one of their many meetings. But for the rest none of them paid special attention to Shano or asked him what his problem was. He completely trusted his parents, because they had told him never to lie or to say something to others that could hurt them. If not at school he was at home with his mother most of the time. His mother worked in a fashion shop in the morning, but when he came home from school she was always there (except Saturday mornings). She understood the problem very well, and much better than young Shano. In the mean time Shano became twelve, and went to a higher school, where he would stay until he was 17 or 18. Some of his old “friends” also went to that school, but he learned to know a lot of new ones also, and he regained some of his self-confidence. But still they always kept him more or less on a distance and he never became part of any close group of friends. He did not bother, though, because he had learned to live with his own thoughts, which were sometimes happy and positive, sometimes depressed, as it goes with most people. He noticed however that his mother was less cheerful than in the past. Moreover there was something she seemed to hide. Something that worried her but did not talk about. Sometimes she would sit alone staring out of the window, even before she had finished her normal work at home. Also he noticed that his father came home late, because he seemed to have a lot of work, but he always felt that his mother did not like it. And Shano did not like it either, because he was used to talking with his father about all kinds of things in the world, about what was good and bad in the society, and how people lived in other countries. He also liked nature and sometimes he went alone (or in the weekends with his parents) to a forest where there was a lake, and he would sit there and think. At least he was not bothered by anyone he would perhaps think that he was “different.” He could be himself. One time, when his parents had decided to take the car and go to some nice place, his father had invited a colleague also. She was younger than his mother and belonged to the ‘normal’ people in that country. She was very kind to Shano and brought presents for him, and praised him for many things in his character and said that he was just like his father. Shano didn’t like her particularly though, but he was happy that his father was now good friends with a ‘normal’ person. His mother was also there, but for some reason she was not happy, even though she was kind like always, also to that ‘normal’ lady. Maybe it was because his father seemed to be talking much more and cheerful to her about all kinds of subjects that seemed to interest her very much. Shano went to his mother because his father had no time to talk with him now, and found her very sad, sitting near the water and looking at the ripples on the lake.

He asked her whether something was wrong, because she was the loveliest mother in the world, so that she should not worry about him. Then he noticed a tear in her eye, but she smiled at him and sad: “Nothing. I am fine. – Why don’t you go and swim in the lake.” So he did – but his mind was with his mother. At the end of the day they all went home, the colleague came also to their home (where she had never been before), for just ten minutes. After eating some chips she said goodbye, kissed Shano on his cheek, and went to her own house – wherever that might be.

(40)

(The Divorce)

That night, when he was upstairs laying in his bed, a big quarrel developed between his father and mother. They rarely quarreled about anything, and then it would be only for a while.