Daily Theosophy

She loved the boy, though more as a mother than as a girlfriend. She went through a crisis. Martin came several times more, but he belonged to the cases for whom all help comes too late, and she saw him decline quickly, losing all shine on his face, and his body getting thinner and thinner.

(75)

(The saddest of all)

She could only accept that the world was like this. Why, she didn’t know. But she went on, tried to forget Martin and the meanness of the world, and realized that the only thing she could do was help as many people as possible. Another disheartening discovery she made was that evil really exist. Really evil people exist also. Until that time she had always believed that something good was is everyone’s heart, and that even when circumstances turned a person into a criminal, the good of the heart was still there and could be brought in vibration. She had believed that no case was hopeless, and that even when people would die in the process, his or her soul would still be curable in some way – though she had no idea how, but maybe there was a forgiving God after death, or another opportunity to come back to harmony. This was the justice that must exist in the universe, she thought. She was right, that is, in the case of much more than 99 % of all people. But she found also in her suburb people, rather young people even, who plainly admitted that they had murdered other people, and would do it again when they had an opportunity. One girl, called Didi, had poisoned several people. She always was seen at graves when a body was buried. Silently she prayed that the soul of the person who had died might be enveloped in darkness and despair – as indeed her own soul was. She said that she hoped that when she died she would become an immortal ghost and have the power to inflict hell on dead people. (Luckily it is a fact of Nature that ghosts are never immortal). She even said to Beauty that one day would she would be her archenemy. Still, from the outside she looked like quite a nice girl.

Others said they liked to kill in the cruelest way they could think of: by torture, by fear, by the darkest drugs. Or who would do everything to draw people into evil and suffering and despair – and then enjoyed it. If Beauty tried to explain that these people who they harmed were also living beings with a heart and hope for happiness they merely laughed. There exists no heart in the world, they said. They always added that it was because they had received no love – they never realized that they had never given love either. They would steal even from the poorest to get money for their own drugs, though some of them were completely clean but at the same time thoroughly evil. They were destined to reach the greatest level of suffering which is possible for a being in the universe to undergo, however before they would reach that stage, but after they had died, they would become like bodiless black shadows whose very influence was gloom, trying to suck the soul out of other people.

Indeed such people are exceedingly rare. The writer of this book, through all his travels in so many countries has never met a person like that as far as he is aware. Perhaps some of them can be found among terrorists or mass murderers, but even most terrorists have some spark of light (they are indeed sacrificing their life to an ‘ideal,’ sometimes a ‘divine ideal’ however distorted their notion of real religion was) which will ultimately … ultimately … but when? … thousands, perhaps even millions of years of suffering lifetime after lifetime in the future … win and lead them to do their task properly, to answer their real question and reach happiness. As long as there is only one spark of light, there is hope that the fire of the spirit will flame.

Praja saw this also in her dream about Beauty. She saw that very few among these people, even if the younger ones looked nice on the outside, had no light. They could not know that they had a heart, even if they had tried to with all means. They were doomed to absolute failure and absolute suffering, absolute loneliness for ever – no friends, no hope, and Praja knew that for them even among the gods there could be no more hope. They were doomed. That is, they had caused themselves to doom. Lifetime after lifetime they had done only evil, only caused suffering, sucked the energy of the souls of others and tried to tear them down with themselves – and sometimes they succeeded. And they had suffered themselves, the unconceivable suffering of feeling no heart at all ever. Completely knowing nothing even of the existence of things that are good and true. Truth had no more meaning for them – only physical and emotional satisfaction. They also had been a part of Adi’s heart. Adi’s heart had issued all hearts, to answer all questions. Including the hearts of these ‘people’ if you can still call them people (and you can, because they still have a mind, sometimes a very good one, though they are worse in their feelings than the cruelest animal). These were cases in which Adi himself was suffering. He lost a small part of his Heart forever – and that meant that a part of his Question could not be answered. Actually he had to issue a new question, the same question, because all this evil human being had learnt through the ages, millions of years, was lost – at least for now. This was what Praja knew, but not Beauty. She had to learn it by hard fact – as Praja had done innumerable millions or billions of years ago.

She now became a known person, and she was asked for initiatives and advice in other backward parts of the city also. Slowly but surely circumstances improved, people got more chances on the employment markets, and children of whatever background could go to any school in the city, and school buses would come to pick them up and bring them to school. Beauty’s private initiative grew into a small welfare organization. The most important thing she had done for the people was raining some hope – individually and collectively.

Beauty, when she got a few years older and was now completely engaged in the welfare work, while always continuing the weekend activities in her own suburb, developed inwardly also. She had an innate wisdom to say the right things to the most desperate people. But she always felt that something was missing inside her, something that, if she would understand it, would make her much more efficient than she was.

(76)

(Mr. M.)

One day she saw there was some kind of a meeting on a big square in the city. Many people were there and she stood at the backside of the whole group. Apparently a man was telling something to the people, giving a lecture or something.