Daily Theosophy

I must say, this communication came from her side – the dead people where not consciously aware of her presence. But they experienced some feeling as if someone cared for them, and therefore became more quiet and less desperate. In this way their suffering was greatly relieved, and they ‘floated’, as it were, upwards or inwards into the direction of heaven. Beauty’s experience was but vague and dreamy, but through her natural heart-felt love, she was of more help than she herself was aware of.

(79)

(Beauty’s journey to death)

 She could not help everyone she saw, and she herself was but half aware in this strange world. At one time, in one of the darkest and down most partitions of this world she recognized the girl who liked to poison people and wished that she wanted to become an evil ghost. She had indeed become one. With a somewhat fanatic energy she tried to inspire people to crime, and sometimes with success. Her own suffering was terrible, too terrible to describe, and she felt extremely lonely, and was surrounded by enemies only. She had no friends. Even now, despite her desperation, she would not react to Beauty’s vibrations of hope and love. Her heart was practically dead – that means, it was almost disconnected from the thread which connected it with Adi’s heart (of whose existence her mind knew nothing anymore). Still, there was some hope, though faint and feebly and rarely, for the future. Beauty asked Mr. M., who was invisibly with her all the time in this strange world full of danger, whether the dead girl could still be helped. He answered in Beauty’s awareness that it all depended on her – but not at this moment.

Then, a little upwards, she saw some shady body without a soul at all, just floating around. It was not only dead on earth, but even in this world it was dead – it has some power, but no soul. She immediately saw that it was Martin, who had died some time before of drugs. This shocked her enormously, and she felt like crying. Was this empty shell of a boy, who even now had something like a smart look on his face, all that had remained of him – this at one time promising, intelligent and nice looking youth? Was this the justice of Nature? Was this the justice and peace of death which so many religions promise? She went to him, but he did not recognize her. The only thing left of ‘Martin’ was a desire for the drug that had killed him. Was he in hell?

Mr. M. watched all this, unconsciously for Beauty, including her thoughts and feelings, from his invisible presence. He let Beauty have her feelings of sorrow and despair concerning Martin and all the other people she had not been able to save.

Then she remembered her guide, Mr. M., and suddenly turned to his invisible presence with a heart’s cry: “Is this justice? Is this death? Is this all that remains of Martin – a dead, but still conscious bunch of desires and craving for his drug, which even if he could get it would not be able to satisfy his need because he had no more physical body?”

Mr. M. took her ‘by her arm’ and led her upwards. They flew from the realms of gloom through those of more refined desires, and finally up to a realm beyond desires, the ‘World of Good Thoughts.’ There, in that world, no suffering exists. And there she saw Martin again, now bright and shining and happy and fulfilling all his good desires, to become a biologist and a paleontologist, surrounded by plants, animals and fossils of which he now understood the soul as no earthly scientist can. The fossils were not dead. They were living as links in a chain of evolution, and they were swimming, walking and flying and had their feelings as they had had millions of years ago on earth.

Beauty woke up in the music room. She understood that this experience was only the beginning of her lessons. But even these were enough for a lifetime. She knew now what is mortal and what is immortal, and instead of mere hope, she knew that there was perfect justice, perfectly logical cause-and-effect in the universe – and that hope was never lost for any creature, even if it died and failed innumerable times. Even when a human soul is lost for nature due to evil thinking and doing, the valuable experiences of the soul before it choose the road of evil and suffering, are retained in the cause of a future soul.

Though Beauty could never explain her experiences and spiritual knowledge to any of her clients, she gave inner happiness and hope to thousands. Even if she had failed to save someone’s life, she had given him or her enough force to save their own soul. She was greatly respected, though some people avoided her.

Several times more she met Mr. M. and went to the music room. And again she went into these strange worlds, and she learned to be fully aware of what happened around her, and how she could act in a useful way – and also to retain a memory of her experiences when she was back in her ‘normal’ consciousness. Due to this, she did not only listen to what het clients said, as she had always done, she could actually ‘see’ and feel their real emotional world and their hidden struggles and secrets and shames, truths and lies. She understood all their psychological knots and hurdles. So when she answered her clients who were talking to her, the answers she gave were not so much as to what they spoke out, but to what on within them. Of course she was very careful not to hurt anyone, or to confront him or her in such a way that she would cross the line of personal integrity and cause the person to lose his balance or even get crazy. Rather she gave them warmth of understanding of their hidden problems which was real, as well as their hidden jewels of character, or buds that would open in the future.

She had learned a lot in these few months. Never had she met a greeter and truer friend than Mr. M. But then Mr. M. suddenly announced that he had to go with his family to a country far away (but he did not mention which country). He added: “We will meet only once more in your life – but our bond will always remain as strong, and even stronger, than it is now.

She understood, she thought, and accepted the unavoidable, but was sad also. “So,” she said, “will our last meeting be tomorrow or later this week?” “No,” he answered. “We’ll meet again when you are 79.” With that he turned around, and left.

She was flabbergasted? Seventy-nine? Now she was 33, and he must be about 40. So, when they would meet again he would be around 86. ‘May be we will end up in the same nursery home,’ she thought. He was a special man, but a strange man also. Why had he always been secret about his real name, his age, his country of origin, and now about his country of destination?

Later she was offered top jobs in the field of social work, and good salaries. Several highly educated men proposed her. She could have had a happy and wealthy family. But she choose to remain in her slum, life long, unmarried, and always with confidence and joy.

She was always prepared to give advice to other social workers and institutions if requested, and sometimes gave inspiring talks in other slums, or in hospitals and even nursery homes. She always worked, she was always helping people, or rather the souls of people, even when she was over seventy. Some people called her ‘the holy mother.’ She was like a mother for everyone, even though she herself never married and had no children.

Now she was 79, walking with a stick or other support, and it was difficult for her to go out for shopping or other activities. She felt that she might not live long anymore – but even that made her feel happy: she knew that death was not the end, only a new phase, and a very interesting one, and most of the time very happy. She was happy to go when the time would be there, and she knew that in future she could and would serve better than she had done in the last eight decades.

(80)

(The last great event of beauty’s life)

Someone knocked on the door.